Seriously, Read a Book!

The economy being what it is (according to Malory Archer, probably due to all these immigrants driving around everywhere in their lowriders, listening to raps and shooting all the jobs), I did not immediately purchase this book. However, when I came across it for $2.99 on Amazon I thought hey, like the lives of six pygmies sacrificed to get a Brazilian rosewood desk, this was really a small price to pay.

What does this book have in common with commandeering an airboat, kickin' it with Burt Reynolds, simultaneously breaking two personal records (for breath holding and number of sharks shot in the fact), Eggs Woodhouse and men's lacrosse (Algonquin for bloodsport)? They're freaking AWESOME! Duh.

Even though, as Archer admits

A book can’t teach someone how to be equal parts deadly and sexy! That’s like asking a cobra to write a book about how to be a cobra!

You'll get some great tips on how to be more like the world's greatest secret agent (no, not the British he-who-shall-not-be-named), and some interesting factoids. Exhibit A:

• 
  Pounds per square inch needed to break a human collarbone (adult): 7
• 
  Pounds per square inch needed to break a human collarbone (child): 11

(That’s as far as I got because I read that statistic and got freaked out that someone actually researched that. And then I started thinking about why it takes more pounds of pressure to break a kid’s collarbone, and all I can figure is it’s because they’re shorter. The collarbones, not the kids. Although I assume the test kids were also pretty short.)

And, since I don't have a HarperCollins editrix breathing down my neck to reach an unreasonable word count of 30,000; that's all I'm gonna say about it.