Seriously, Read a Book!

Sangamon Taylor might actually be the love of my life (and, as far as I'm concerned, the fact that he's an emotionally unavailable, fictional character is kind of a win-win). By my metrics of greatness, billing ST (that's what all the cool kids call him) as the “Granola James Bond” undersells him by a long shot.

Employed as a “professional asshole” (his words) by GEE, an environmental activist group in Boston, ST is a chemist by training, a fan of avoiding Boston traffic by taking to its waterways in his (sometimes) trusty Zodiac, and, overall, is pretty much equal parts super-spy, mad scientist, and sardonic badass at large. 

So, what makes Sangamon Taylor so swoon-worthy? 

1. He's great at hand-to-hand underwater combat, which is kind of a must.

2. Dude knows his way around a lab, but he's a nerd of the people—using six-packs of beer to illustrate the difference between benzene rings and phenyls is beyond brilliant. ST would definitely know, in a pinch, how to make use of dry ice and a fun, sexy little molecule some like to call “dihydrogen monoxide.”

3. Speaking of molecules, Sangamon's Principle: “The simpler the molecule, the better the drug,” comes in handy in the event that one needs to decide what kind of pick me up to employ before going into battle.

4. ST knows that no grenade is a good grenade, but sometimes, you've gotta lay all tinnitus concerns aside, and pull the pin. 

5. He definitely knows how to make the best of a bad situation…

6. Last, but not least, Sangamon Taylor understands that it's not about the size of the boat…it's about the engine, and knowing how to use it. 

I could go on, but I don't want to induce seizures among the gif-sensitive masses. I'm far from being a Neal Stephenson expert, but rumor has it that Zodiac is an exception to the rule for those who, otherwise, are not big Stephenson fans.